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Posts tagged ‘parents’

It’s a Boy!

An article in The Sun by Bella Battle, announced that the couple who kept their child’s gender a secret for five years have revealed that the child, Sasha, is a boy. They kept Sasha’s sex a secret from teachers, friends, and family members. The parents, Beck Laxton and Kieran Cooper, kept their home television-free, only allowed him to play with “gender neutral” toys and alternated boys’ clothes and girls’ clothes. They reasoned that typical gender roles create stereotypes that prevent a person’s real personality from shining through. For the first five years of Sasha’s life, he was referred to as “The Infant”. His parents decided to publicly reveal his gender when he entered grade school and when the school told them the child would have to use the designated restroom for boys or girls depending on his sex.

Laxton explained, “I just want him to fulfill his potential, and I wouldn’t push him in any direction. As long as he has good relationships and good friends, then nothing else matters does it?”

Beck Laxton and her son are laughing together while showing off Sasha’s “gender neutral” apparel.

In our class discussion, we conversed much about gender roles and popular culture. We debated, for example, why young boys may not feel comfortable reading stereotypical “girls books” while young girls do not feel the same pressure. “Books are labeled, as strictly as school lavatories, ‘Books for Boys’ or ‘Books for Girls’.” (Course Packet, P. 165) The same can be argued for toys and clothes, as we learned in our class discussion. In today’s society, when we see cargo shorts, sneakers, and baggy shirt, we tend to think male, whereas we associate dresses and the color pink with the femininity.

The article concludes by stating, “As a child grows they develop their own independent sense of self that will include their own individual gender identification.”

I believe this is extremely vital to mention. Although I do understand the point these parents are attempting to get across, I believe their son may not benefit quite as much as they hope. In today’s society, as sad as it may be, he will undoubtedly have a difficult childhood outside his own home. He will likely have a difficult time assimilating in school and in many social situations until he reaches an age where he has been better socialized (outside of the home) to develop his own sense of self. A child must have the ability to choose who they want to be. Although these parents are trying to keep their son from being forced one way or the other, they also restrict certain “extreme toys” such as Barbie and G.I. Joe. This impedes Sasha from being able to make his own decisions about what to play with and, thus, the person he wants to be. It is imperative for children to be exposed to books, clothing and toys that are geared both towards boys and girls, however, in this extreme circumstance, Sasha is likely to be confused and may even have a more difficult time developing his own sense of identity due to his parents’ seeming repulsion for it one way or another.

Shower them with Nikon, Xbox, PlayStation and Kindle

In Gary Cross’ article Modern Childhood, Modern Toys he draws connections to Christmas and the meaning of Santa Claus. In the times after the Civil War, toys and play became a more prominent aspect of children and their developing childhoods. When Christmas was finally recognized as a true holiday, parents began to shower their children with gifts, not to secure loyalty or represent any power differential, but to strengthen the “emotional ties within the nuclear family” (Cross, 59). As the toy manufacturing companies began producing more and more toys, the original idea of toys being handmade and born from the heart started to fade, thus the idea of Santa Claus came to be. Children would write to Santa in the North Pole with their Christmas wish list and parents would go to seek the gifts the children asked for, only if the children’s behavior had been good.

From the movie A Christmas Story: a childhood favorite that depicts the spirit of Christmas for a young boy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In our current society, much emphasis has been placed on electronic gadgets rather than the traditional knitted sweater from Grandma or handmade wooden trinket from Dad. Instead of transformers and comic books, little boys wish for Nintendo DS’ or an Xbox. Nevertheless, gifts have grown increasingly expensive and a strain has been placed on parents to provide their children with the perfect Christmas. Cross explains this strain as “Parents teach their children to believe that Santa will bring them heaps of toys which no one had to sacrifice or even pay for.” (Cross, 60) While a parent may be able to afford the Xbox 360, the games that accompany the console are still very pricey. In present day, a family’s wealth may be depicted by how many of these new era gifts are given at Christmas time. While the parents are not purchasing the gifts for themselves, or showing off their wealth in prestigious vehicles, all of the newly expensive Christmas presents will speak loud enough for that family’s status. In the commercials that air in preparation of Christmas, many of them this last year especially started to show mother’s (in particular) developing an obsession with purchasing everything they could without facing bankruptcy in order to provide their children with that perfect Christmas experience.

Some commercials went as far as to show mother’s competing with the made-up character Santa Claus, to prove that they no longer needed him to make their children happy. With all the discounts that stores give on the expensive presents, they could do it themselves. This commercial in particular shows the mother buying the fun, cool and most modern electronic gifts while Santa is trying to fit in a small wooden truck, that looks like it would have made a little boys day 60 years ago.

The Modern View on Christmas Spending

 

Over the course of the twentieth century, Christmas has taken on a new purpose due to evolving consumerism and industrialism in America. Parents have taken to a sort of vicarious consumption in order to both earn the love of their children, and to try and outdo their neighbors. In an effort to appear more affluent than others, parents are increasingly spending more and more on pricey Christmas presents for their children. In Cross’s article, “Modern Children, Modern Toy,” he discusses the effects of this changing mentality regarding the gift-giving side of the holidays. He says that, “When parents bestowed presents on their offspring, they also attempted to share their excitement with the wider world of new things” (Cross, 59). This is another side effect of this new found vicarious consumption. By overspending on gifts for their children around the holidays, parents are trying to live out their desire for excitement and fun through their children. The giving of gifts turns to a new way for the parent to connect with the child without appearing to overindulge or spoil them.

Ads like this, from large retailers such as Toys R Us, are aimed at parents as well as children and try to convince parents to purchase expensive gifts around the holidays through mechanisms like door-buster sales and free offers. By doing so, they can both appease their children, and not appear to be overindulgent to their friends and neighbors.  This mentality developed throughout the twentieth century do to new innovations in toy manufacture, and new increased parental concern over their children’s boredom. These sorts of concerns have created an atmosphere garnered towards over-consumption, and in which parents feel obligated to shower their children with gifts in order to appear better parents.

 

A Modern Christmas Carol

An illustration from Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" as found on gutenberg.org

In his writing, Gary Cross uses Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol to describe the cultural link between wealth and Christmas that was developing in the nineteenth century. Cross suggests that Scrooge was able to buy “the Cratchits joy” with his gifts (59). Due to the “emotional ties” created by gift giving in the domestic setting, family life was idolized and children soon became the face of this developing innocent façade of the nineteenth century (59). In part, this façade that the child represents is an illusion created by a parent through the act of gift giving. With a gift, a parent is able to relive their own childhood, display their “personal affluence,” and proclaim the child as a “deserving” one (59). Cross’ opinion of a child being seen as “deserving” is an idea that holds true in today’s society (59).

Using themes from A Christmas Carol as a representation of today’s society, the child can be viewed as the Cratchits, and the parent as Scrooge. A parent is willing to give “selflessly” to their child, but oftentimes has an ulterior motive of trying to prove abundance and wealth (59). Striving to provide the child with a “shower of gifts,” a parent becomes the ultimate consumer during the Christmas season (59). They become prone and privy to any inkling they might have about joy that their child could derive from their wealth and abundance of gifts. The child is encouraged to indulge and take part in the abundance offered by the Christmas season. Advertisements evoke lengthy Christmas lists and outrageous wants and desires (which are often times strewn by the media as “needs”) from the child. In this way, the child is conditioned by society to hold a certain expectation of a plentiful Christmas. The parent, on the other hand, is expected to react swiftly to the demands of the child, no matter the cost. With the evolution of Santa Claus in the twentieth century as an integral icon of Christmas, the parent finds a scapegoat for lavish spending and indulgence (60). A parent, among other parents, can appear wealthy, yet selfless, through the act of copious giving to the child; all the while hiding behind the “jolly fat man” (60).